The mind is what you wish to control; the body is the easy part, Oh, and I almost forgot, legend says that NOTHING black should be worn by the bride, else she risks becoming a widow real fast Examples of two areas you should stay away from are her spine (I know, you had figured that out on your own) and her lower back. For you women who are capable of having a number of orgasms in a single day/night time period, I strongly recommend that you masturbate and come to orgasm at least once just prior to beginning to play with your back door. Tease her, endlessly No other color is acceptable - My own preference is a loose short skirt, no panties, no bra and a tight low cut top His reaction time must be at its sharpest to ensure that if the situation gets out of control he can slow it down or stop it in a heartbeat Though there are those who eventually learn to enjoy this play with very little or no lube at all, it's always best for beginners to use copious amounts of the stuff, A direct blow to it can cause the tip to break off and that is severe injury and pain, I'm only writing this from my own experiences and the experiences of others that I've told these things to. I can't phantom that. Think of it this way, you may enjoy having your ass spanked [the thrill of the sharp sensation and the intimacy that accompanies it] but you would not enjoy being punched in the nose. To the outside world [those who have only read the words, but not experienced the lifestyle] BDSM is the dark pictures they see on the magazines and the brutal pornographic images that sometimes are included in the movies, I love seeing her cunni while I'm doing this, and this position also allows her easy access to masturbate while I'm in her bum, She has to have searched her own mind and spirit and decided that she wishes to submit to you, and upon arriving at that depth of self understanding, and then she is ready to experience the fullness of submission. A submissive, just as much as a Dominant, has to be in control of herself first and foremost, This process can be repeated as many times as you wish or need to, to really get the full pleasure and effect of this kind of play You are using her ass and thighs to work her out physically, mentally and emotionally. But in case you've not here is a good time to discuss safe words, The importance of communication, communication and yes more communication cannot be emphasized enough in here She craves to feel your loving control over her and will only put up a fight to the extent that it heightens her enjoyment of being taken over; more appropriately taken in hand, Remember, this is not a ten second spanking, this is a good workout and will last a fairly long time Sorry this was so long, Her mental and emotional state is yours to control, but it is also yours to observe, When I thrust into her bottom the egg presses snug against her G-Spot. And a number of times afterward just to make sure Many women I've talked to tell me that their Tops at first did not push them far enough and that they needed to be taken up there so that they could release totally But, at the same time, you must keep in mind that you are doing this for your own enjoyment of taking her and letting her feel your hand landing upon her flesh just as the rest of you will at the end of the scene when you take her, Not a good idea Make minor adjustments to her position so that it pleases you most, One more area, that I'm sure you figured out as you walked behind her, was her neck and her head, Good, you are getting it right and you'll do well -

I even know of one woman who was taking anal fisting within a week of taking my advice, and she was a complete anal virgin prior to my advice Black, rather then white, makes a gal usually perspire more, You must work this entire scene and words (safe and forward) out ahead of time, Whether you have been a slut all your life, been divorced three times, or you are to have your hymen deflowered because you are an awkward virgin who is going to bleed on her wedding night - white should always be the color of choice for brides Submissive women are not door mats, they are very intelligent and very strong women who simply need to be taken in hand, to be made, by sheer dominant will not brutality, to feel their submission I want her to feel the embrace of the clothing and I want the clothing not to interfere with my machinations as I spank her Go slow, I've stopped sex on the drop of a dime because the woman I was with felt a tinge of discomfort The very first step is that you have to decide that you really want to do this, Arrange her hair the best way for your ability to touch all her skin In time this can become just another part of sex play, like with my wife and I, we get into anal sex almost as easily now as changing from missionary to doggy-style. Do not allow her to protest that she's being tickled and cannot help it If she's wet, pump her a few times, then remove your fingers and deliver additional blows where you know you'll enjoy the most. If she's reluctant to be open with you, remind her that as your submissive her thoughts around a scene you've put together and delivered belong to you; both the good and the bad. While you're in this pent up state your body should be much more open to other suggestive playing If you're still doing this in the shower then obviously you want to be using toys that won't be affected by the water if toys are what you're using - For those of you who get too tender to have another orgasm shortly after just having one, go directly to the next step, You should also use examination gloves if you have any open sores of any kind on your fingers. Why. The initial penetration is very important because it'll almost automatically tell you if you can proceed easily or if more time is needed just explore topically - I do that to give her a second to decide if Ouch was truly Ouch, please stop, or simply enjoyment of a well delivered blow to her lovely ass, For those of you who did not read the first part, I will cover it here one more time because of how important it is to both the beginner and the experienced BDSM practitioner, Besides, a naked bride is fine I guess, but one that is nude but retains her garter belt (with stockings, heels, and sans panties) is simply sublime in my book I've found a system that has yet to not be successful with a willing woman Just like a man can't leap over tall buildings, BDSMers do not brutally accost each other for the sake of the Sadism and Masochism traits they share, Come on, it's no different than the soul searching you did when you realized that you had the potential of becoming a Top or a Dominant or even a Master, Follow the center of her body down to her thighs and caress them While you're exploring the surface of the area back there, see if you can begin inserting a lubed finger (or a lubed, skinny vibe or lubed, skinny dildo) during the contractions or during a moment of rest, Just as you took time to bring her to this level of release, you need to slowly bring her back down, Women with nails should use caution with this next step, or use examination gloves to help shield tender flesh from long nails or hang nails All play, no matter how extreme it seems to the viewer is done with an understanding that no [harm] will be done. You should find that as you have contractions from the pleasure your giving yourself otherwise, that your anus is also contracting, even if just a little bit Isn't BDSM about taking absolute control,

You spent hours thinking about it, what it meant to you and what would be expected of you, she has to reach the same point or you two are not in balance with each other, I hope so, if you read the last article I've known a few women who were almost instantly able to move on to more than one finger or a larger toy back there Her hair is to be put up so that it is out of your way. The dominant person takes on many responsibilities as I stated earlier. Make her feel reassured that you are watching for her safe word, but that you are going to take her to the edge and let her peek over and test the other side, until she uses her safe word In addition to a safe word, you also need to find a word or a motion that will let you know that she enjoyed a particular blow very much Get the lay of the land, so-to-speak. This is where some real fun begins, This travesty I have seen in America, especially amongst American movie starlets who wear black or red wedding gowns, but still have the audacity to wear white lingerie underneath - Don't yell at her, just simply and firmly say: Stop, I'd love to hear the experiences of others from either trying this or learning another way. Take your hands and roam her body one more time: always taking the opportunity to correct her posture to please you most. There's been a lot of prudery on the parts of some, some really good information and a few points that were questionable at best - The last thing a bride wants on her wedding night is a yeast infection, or to smell bad "down there" if the sex is to be spontaneous - like lifting up the dress and consummating in a flash. } In the first part of this series I talked about the founding principle of BDSM: Safe, Sane, and Consensual, BDSM is about the open conversation about the fantasies, desires and needs as well as the enjoyment of dominating or being dominated and for both to heighten their erotic pleasure by the unique sensations they share with each other, This is the advice that I've given that has never brought back any complaints or failures - Keep spending most of your efforts on however you're use to bringing on an orgasm without letting it happen, while also beginning to play with your bottom, specifically your anus and the skin around it We enjoy it immensely when my wife is on her back and I'm entering her derriere from an upright position - There's always some very standard advice for beginning to learn about bottom play: Lots of lube The biggest key with this pleasure, for the one that's doing the receiving, is that your pleasure and comfort have to be first priority over everything else that comes before during and right after the act Take your coat off, get comfortable, you'll be here a while Though I'm speaking primarily to the women here, any men getting into this activity can easily utilize this advice as well A Bride's lingerie A guide on bridal lingerie and how to consummate your marriage while wearing it As told to the author after a six hour marathon love making session at the Hotel Monte Carlo, 2001 Before I start this primer on wedding night sex and lingerie, I would like to clear up some misunderstandings that our lingerie ignorant culture has been spreading about for awhile now, As you do these scenes realize that the more you do them, the more you'll know and the further you can push her White - the color white - wearing things that are white, is a prerequisite in my opinion for things relating to weddings. Test her later on with harder blows, or more rapid blows so that you get a general picture of both of your likes and dislikes. Again, this control is something that may happen the first time you do this, it may not happen until a later session of exploration You should start soft and slow, and then a bit harder and than later a bit faster Again, from this advice I've known some women who have taken a number of times to get this to be a success, while there have been others who have had success right from the start. I recommend it to everyone, male and female, gay and straight, who is interested in bottom play, or who would just like to have an accurately informed opinion on the subject, instead of practicing blind prudery or ill-informed advice from people who don't really know squat about this subject Touch her as if your fingertips were as light a feather and do not allow her to squirm because you are tickling her

However, when you are punched on the nose [even if you use the same force as on the buttock] you hit less than a millimeter of flesh and then you are applying direct force on soft cartilage and then directly on the bone See if she's wet enough to go to the next step, Safety first, second, third and always is the only way to truly enjoy BDSM to the fullest The second leg of the three legged stool of BDSM is "sane" The force and frequency of your blows need to climb steadily Some lubes may also cease to be functional if too much water is introduced to them Once you've resolved all the questions in your mind, as the dominant, you must take control of the situation. Again, you are working on the mood and you are helping her achieve the mind set of the submissive, Neither party gives cart blanche to the other. I can't stress enough how important it is for the one receiving to explore this pleasure with her or himself FIRST, Give her a set of instructions that make sense to you, Observe her carefully and she'll teach you where you will achieve the best results by slapping, how hard, how often and for how long. Don't be afraid to hold her down in place as you deliver the spanking as long as she does not use her safe word; but at first you should remind her that squirming or ouch not even crying is a safe word Don't ever put anything into your vagina that's been in your bottom The development of her self awareness is one of the requisites for the job. Remember the good spots, and make a mental note to come back to them - The combination of the three pleasure points being stimulated all at once has sent her into some room-shaking orgasms. Ensure that she understands that you are gazing upon her body and that it belongs to you. Order her to go to her room and put on appropriate clothing There are no shortcuts in life, and neither are there any in BDSM - Enjoy a long caress down her back, ending on what will be the target of your blows, The orgasm(s) you have just before your exploration begins will also help with the relaxation of those muscles, It is essential that you put her at ease and that she is made to understand that in this type of conversation she is not topping from the bottom: a topic all on its own, Her lower back, and on the side of her spine is where her kidneys are Harm is not BDSM, that's brutality and in no way accepted or condoned in the BDSM world I've shared what I've learned with a huge number of couples, and even a couple of doctors and have never heard of a single instance where the advice I gave failed Take her butt cheeks in your hand, cup them and squeeze them. Don't be afraid to let the scene last a long while; but always keep an eye on her to make sure her blood flow is not compromised and make sure her breathing is normal (normal for the emotions she's feeling) This will only make your next scene far better than if you only had your thoughts and impressions to work from One without the other is impossible, or better said it is not BDSM and can border on abuse and brutality at its worse - I'm looking for positive, negative and alternative comments - Enjoy the feel of her breast upon your hands; do not allow her to look up at you unless you explicitly give her instructions to do so Caress the inside of her thighs, slapping them softly and telling her: Open

You will want to check her moisture level from time to time, and to allow her to vent some of the eroticism she's feeling by playing with her clit, and plunging a couple of fingers deep in her; allowing her the pleasure of your penetration - A word that lets you know that you can spank her harder, or a word that means you hit a perfect spot, please remember it so that she may enjoy that feeling again, Continue for a while squeezing and lightly tapping her ass just to get a good feel, Just because a lot of so called "Sex in the City" liberated American girls have "slept" with an average of ten men (college lesbian experiences do not count) before getting married, or are having their asses thonged by Victoria's Secret or Calvin Klein doesn't mean that American women know a rat's ass about lingerie Continuation from later in the same thread Weddings, as an institution have recently become a commercial enterprise, and a lot of the romanticism that used to be common has given way to plain gaudy design and materialism. Before you move to the next step, keep in mind that there are parts of her body that are made to take punishment, but there are many parts that are not The moment can be prolonged and minutes made to feel much longer because your adrenaline and hers are fully taking over your brain and the rest of the chemistry in your body, Let your manliness come out, peel away the years of political correctness, wash them away and enjoy the power exchange you both share, The next step can happen with a few different things transpiring, mostly in the number of fingers inserted, or the size of the toy being used. That same force is very likely to break something and cause injury The dominant has to be able to focus all his attention on the submissive and have a clear understanding of how close she is to her limits. Starting small, like with a finger or a very small vibe or dildo, is where any beginner should start this little journey Lightly tap them Then I slowly moved on to pleasuring her another way without "getting my cookies" at all because of my concern for her comfort Keep in mind that foreplay and after-play are very important to both of you. See our user's amateur home archives. You're going to be teaching your body to do something new. Free blow job and facials youtube-like videos you always wanted. The last word of caution is her coccyx bone, or better known as her tail bone, Now, outside the basics that I've just mentioned, and the book that I recommended earlier, there are a number of "tricks" that I've found make the learning of this kind of play so much easier and more pleasurable than just the basics allow - Long conversations need to take place between the dominant and the submissive to ensure that the scene is clearly laid out and that both know what the limits are and where they can and where they cannot be pushed Wearing black lingerie during honeymoon sex, and for the rest of your sexual married life, is perfectly OK though and I actually encourage it when one wants to create a certain mood She is to kneel, legs spread apart and her ass resting on her heels - The decision has to be yours with no outside pressure Then communication becomes that much more easy with your lover because you know what your talking about first hand. I strongly recommend that anyone wanting to be the receiver of bottom play begins by experimenting on one's self rather than letting the SO begin the experimenting - This is going to help your body learn that this is for pleasure and begin remolding its instincts about that part of itself. Afterwards talk about how she felt, what she was thinking, what she wanted to feel more of, and what she wanted to feel less of during the scene. I've seen a lot of threads regarding this subject, Once you have the first scene under your belt, you'll come up with many variations and your own relationship will guide you from there, Ouch, as I remind my wife, is NOT a safe word. The hand-held shower nozzles are awesome for this since the hot water is also going to help that area of your body relax

This is when you have to be gentle with her and let her feel your presence and your continued control of her as she winds her way back down, Practice good hygiene, Her safety is in your hands and no one else's, Actually, it's a custom that started during the Victorian era The pretentious unrealistic white dress became popular among the Victorian upper classes because one had to be wealthy to afford such a luxurious creation that it would only be worn one time, Don't strike a blow to either, they will cause harm - She's learning what pleases you, and learning what she enjoys at the same time, Begin by delivering a few nice soft but firm blows Isn't BDSM about Bondage and Dominance - The Internet is full of such inaccuracies, and it's not uncommon to find a myriad of wedding related web sites referring to the single garter worn on the leg as a "garter belt". Safety is the first leg of the BDSM three legged stool, if you'll permit the analogy, The difference between pain and harm is very significant Order her also to come back to you and to kneel before you - Then, pull out or continue according to what your own instinct says you can do, and then do whatever feels natural after that Did you remember to set up a safe word, I sincerely hope that you found this a useful way to get started and I hope that you all will comment on this post There have been others who were only able to use as much as a pinky finger until they learned to control that part of themselves through becoming more aware of the different sensations down there (Second in the series for BDSM Beginners) {Editorial note: I do not mean to insult A/anyone, but for simplicity for the beginner I did not follow the proper capitalization rules Lets get some things straight girls - brides don't throw "garter belts" - that in itself would be pretty bizarre visually, and I pray that she would have enough sense not to do that - because if she did, she would have to take off her entire wedding gown, get naked in front of everyone, and then throw it - If she's failed to do this, take her through this journey of self awareness. You'll also be able to experiment with the various positions just like with vaginal sex Feel her ass cheeks; make sure her legs are still parted because you want clear access to her lips Being really, really, REALLY horny seems to help dramatically from what I've been told of the advice I've given, You'll learn that it is not always painful if she is already worked up enough It just doesn't make any sense, Give her body time to fully enjoy the sharp sensation of the blow, and then the tenderness of your love for her. Let your LUBED fingers explore the surface of the area back there and feel the contractions with your fingertips Part her lips gently, enjoy the unencumbered view and allow your fingers to penetrate her A garter belt (or suspender belt for the Brits) on the other hand is a piece of elastic something - like a giant rubber band in lace and satin that helps keep stockings up, or is worn by a woman (or Mick Jagger, David Bowie, Rocky Horror Show aficionados) during sex as an accessory. No, I am not over reacting here - this misnomer is more common than you might think A blow to the lower side of her back and you are dangerously close to causing damage to the kidney and to the injuring her Isn't the M about masochism, or the enjoyment of receiving pain, That can be the difference between pain and harm.

For those of you who are able to get a successful insertion, that at least is comfortable, and at best is causing you to go over the edge and achieve your orgasm, you should be finding out by being aware of the sensations just how much you're able to do back there that first time, I dominate her, because she needs to submit to feel complete, and I need to have loving control so that I too can be fulfilled Make sure she's comfortable enough by providing her a soft spot for her knees, Pick a nice safe word, one that would not be a commonly used word in this situation - There is no reason to rush through a scene. Once you've put her in the position you want her in, and then warm her up a bit The third leg of the BDSM stool is consensual behavior. Once you've done this successfully, you will start becoming much more conscious of your muscles that make up the anus and you should be able to start controlling them rather than just forcing them to cooperate. Look for the areas on her ass and thighs she enjoys the most, and give you the most pleasure As you land blows keep in mind that too many blows in one place tend to get painful and no fun for either of you; unless you are doing it on purpose - Information like this can't be given in just one or two sentences The same thing applies here that applied in your first experience dominating her: take your time But, the best way for you to learn this is by yourself Married in white, You have The BDSM lifestyle that we practice at home is a loving relationship that has the basis on the clearest of understandings, Blessings to all… A Beginners Guide to Spanking her Get yourself really horny, randy, sexed up, hot n bothered, dripping with desire, wanton, but DON'T let yourself achieve orgasm, Sex is an area where you enjoy it the most when you know the most about your own body, Dominants ask questions and make sure that you know exactly what's on the mind of the submissive, This is not a one way street; it is in fact a very well balanced relationship between submissive and dominant It is like nothing else - Start Small - The purpose is to get her mind ready, and to get the blood flowing nicely to her ass cheeks. Encourage her and reward her for open honest answers There are many men and women out there who are capable of taking some pretty massive things into their derrieres - The kneeling position I enjoy the most is called NADU and it comes from the Gorean worlds Either way, when you have a successful penetration and insertion into your derriere, that's when you want to allow yourself to have that orgasm you were fighting so hard to keep down Thoroughly clean any toys that are used with antibacterial soap as well, Are you getting the idea that this is a lot of responsibility for you as the dominant - Moreover, white is traditionally the color associated with joy, and in my opinion the wedding ceremony, as well as the sexual act that follows should be of a joyous and celebratory nature The dominant has to make sure that neither is under the influence of alcohol or mind, perhaps it would be better to call it perception, altering drugs. I by no means consider myself to be any kind of an expert in this area A no no if there ever was one, especially with panties or thongs.

I've kept to some very simple basics of how to do this Although our culture has come to think that white somehow symbolizes the virginity and purity of the bride - this is wrong, I don't care what era you are living in, or how many so-called "strides" the feminists have won - white is for weddings, period. Her upturned palms are to lay on her thighs offering herself openly to you, Sane also includes the fact that the dominant in the relationship is the one that while in control, also must assume many responsibilities for the safety of his submissive, Isn't the S in BDSM stand for sadism, which means to take pleasure in inflicting pain. My information and practices in this area come from two sources, Once she's kneeling before you, make a big production out of observing her. What the bride throws is simply the garter that she wears under her dress on and her leg - I don't think enough can be said about the importance of each of these three areas Well, the answer to all those questions is; yeah, but. That sounds strange doesn't it I personally have had the pleasure of having a great deal of experience with bottom play with the women I've been with Stop, is a bad safe word, In this article I'm going to give you some ideas, but in the end remember it is your scene, and NOT mine, Otherwise, switch cheeks; slap the lower part of her ass right by her thighs with a little upper movement on the hand to cup the ass cheek While in this position she's also inserted on of those small remote control eggs into her vagina and used another vibe on her clit. Your preparations are to bring her arousal to a nice wetness that signifies that her entire body is ready for you Fair warning: Some may progress very quickly through these steps while others may have to try a number of times to become really proficient in letting this become pleasurable Simple, the blow to the cushioned fatty tissues on your buttock which is made for such abuse will cause no harm [no permanent damage]. Now that you have surveyed your property and are certain she is fully aroused, place her in a position that will allow you to spank her comfortably, Usually relaxing is a pretty good idea, The first is my own personal experiences, and I've had a lot of those experiences in teaching the women that I've been with, and the couples that I've known who were brave or secure enough to voice their interest in this play From what I've found, the hornier you are when you get the initial penetration, the easier it is, and the more enjoyable it becomes in a shorter period of time Caressing and gentleness are the keys for after care of your girl - In that case it is a lot of fun and you should not hesitate to do it, Don't be afraid to make her cry; she may need your spanking to release those emotions Furthermore, I recently heard some drunken idiot at a predictable Italian Irish wedding in New Jersey yell, "Throw us your garter belt, Interchange slaps across her ass, with squeezing and caressing Ladies, when you and your lover are going to be getting into this type of play, it is paramount that your pleasure comes first and foremost - Stay in this stage, or similar one, until you have her completely melting to your touch The kidneys are very sensitive and are also attached to the muscular tissue directly connected to her flesh. Let your fingers linger and then plunge them deep inside her, " during the over-rated garter tossing ceremony. Be firm, but be nurturing at the same time "Blue" could be a good safe word, if you both will listen for it, and both remember the meaning of it At this point you want her to feel your domination and total control over the mood, because it is that same mood you are setting for the scene This piece of advice also goes for wearing black lingerie under the wedding gown